Do you find it hard to let go of past hurts? You are not alone. Many people find it hard to let go of their negative past events.
Here’s the deal.
Everyone has things in their past that have hurt them. Everyone has done things they’re not proud of. Everyone has negative stuff in their past.
But if you don’t let it go, your past can drive you into the “could have” – “would have” mode. You know, the place where you constantly think about a situation and wonder how things might have been different. How if you would’ve just done that one thing or if you could’ve done it over, how much better your life would be.
But, here’s the real deal.
Wishing things were different isn’t going to change a thing. The past is, well, past. But there are things you can do to let go of past hurts and start living the type of life you deserve to live.
Stop Letting the Past Hold You in Place
Here’s the thing about the past. No matter how hard you try, you can’t change it.
What can you change? The things you do right now,
You can use today to make better memories and create a brighter future. Let’s take a quick look at three things you can do, right now, to let go of past hurts and start living the life you want to live.
Change Your Frame
There are two frames or lenses you can choose to view your life from.
The first is the problem frame. This is where you decide to focus on the problem, the things that get in the way of what you want.
For example, you would like to get into better shape, but you just can’t find the time to work out. There’s also no way you could find time to cook the meals that are healthy for you.
There’s just not enough time to handle all the things you need to do right now and get in shape too.
There’s another term for the problem frame. It’s the blame frame. This is where you blame someone or something outside of yourself for what’s happening to you.
In the example above, you are blaming your lack of time for not being able to get into better shape. This supposes that people who do find the time to work out have a magical clock that gives them more time.
By the way, if you find that clock let me know where I can find it.
But there’s another, more useful frame. This is the outcome frame. This is the lens that focuses on the outcome you desire.
In our example, you focus on the idea that you want to get into better shape. This gets your mind thinking about how you can accomplish the things you want to achieve. In this case, how you can you carve out 15 minutes a day to walk and 30 minutes three time during the week to exercise.
Practice Being Present
Another reason people find it hard to let go of past hurts is they let their minds constantly drift back to negative past events. Instead, do something that pulls you into the present. Practice mindfulness.
An easy way to begin practicing mindfulness is to schedule 5 to 10 minutes once or twice a day to stop what you’re doing and simply focus on your breathing. You can find more information about this in the article about deep breathing on this website.
Not only will deep breathing pull you into the present, it will help you feel refreshed, giving you the energy you need to get done what needs to be done.
Look for the Good in Your Life
The last tip is to focus on the good things in your life. Most people forget to look for the good that comes into their lives. Make it a priority to seek joy in the daily things that come your way.
It’s Not Possible to Change our Past, but it is Possible to Live for Today.
That’s something to remind yourself of each day. Why live with regret and conflict when there’s joy and beauty all around?
The Tao Te Ching says, “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.”
You can let go of past hurts and live in the light of peace and joy.
Focus on the things you want, practice being in the present and look for the good in your life. If you do these three things every day, you will make life better for you and all the people you meet.
When you let go of past hurts, you’re able to change your outlook and focus on life’s brighter things.
Now, you’ll be living the life you really want to live.