Before we can talk about how to get over regret, let’s take a look at where regrets come from.
A great example about where regrets come from is story about a man from Liverpool who always chose the same set of lottery numbers. One day he forgot to buy a ticket.
Can you guess what happened?
You’re right! His numbers won.
This man was filled with regret. In fact, he regretted his “failure” so much that he committed suicide. Missing his great “opportunity” was just too much for him.
The Problem with Regret
Look, everybody has regrets. Everyone’s had a relationship go south on them. Everyone’s made a career mistake or two. Everyone’s made a bad investment in time or money or in people.
We’ve all made mistakes. But making mistakes is just part of being human.
Regret comes from not being able to get over your mistakes. When you continue to ruminate on them, over and over again.
This builds the size of the mistake in your mind. When those regrets get large enough, they can hold you back.
Now you are unable to accomplish the great things in life that you want to achieve. That’s just no way to live your life.
So, what can you do?
Five Ways to Get Over Regret
There is no better time than now than to leave regret where it should be, in the past. This will allow you to take back control of your life.
The following are 5 Tips you can start using today to get over regret and take charge of your future.
- Ask: What’s good about my life?”
Usually when people are wallowing in regret their inner dialog is similar to a client I once worked with. Let’s call him John.
John had lots of things going on in his life, some good, some not-so-good. What was evident though was John kept focusing on the not-so-good. I knew this because, when we first met, that’s what his story was all about.
As he went on with his story of woe, I interrupted him and asked, John, “Is there anything good going on in your life?”
Looking a little startled, John looked back at me for a moment and said, “Well, yes.” Then he went on to tell me of many good things he had going on.
At the end of our time together John leaned forward and told me, “Wow, I haven’t felt this good in a long time.”
That’s the first thing you need to do, look for the good in your life.
- Figure Out What it is You Want
The next time John came to see me, he told me that, although his job in the tech industry paid him fairly well (he made about $100,000 a year) he didn’t like his job. He told me it was “too rigid”.
I asked him why he stayed at it. He told me he had two children he had to pay child support for and needed the money
He told me a couple more things that he didn’t want. So, I asked him, “What do you want out of life?
John began by telling me “I don’t want to be broke and…
I cut him off and said, “John, you’ve told me a lot of things you don’t want. What DO you want?”
John went quiet for about a minute. Finally, he said, “I want to open my own web-design business.”
It was easy to tell John felt much better after saying this. You see, once he began to focus on what he wanted, John was able to see the possibilities. This allowed him to think about how he could open up his own business instead of going broke.
Now that you’re starting to think about possibilities, its time to…
- Set Big Goals!
Goals will make you go and the bigger the goal the bigger the go. Think about what it is you really want to achieve in life. Then, spend your time going after them.
When you go after something that is bigger than you, something that pulls you, you won’t be able to be held back by the regret of the past. The call of your future will be so large it will pull you free any anchor of regret.
That leads to the next tip…
- Avoid Settling.
Sometimes we can be fooled by the siren of competency. You really wanted to own your own business, but after a few years of working, you figure making a high five figure income is okay.
You wanted to go live in Rome after you graduated but when finding a job in Italy was difficult, you settled on Miami.
Settling results in that gnawing feeling of regret that you can never completely shake. That’s why setting big goals and then going after them is so important. Have faith in yourself and stick to your guns about the goals that matter to you.
That leads to the final tip…
- Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Everybody wants to live an extraordinary life but very few people are willing to do the uncomfortable things you need to do to achieve them.
For example, many people want to have a black belt, but they don’t want to go through the physical and mental uncomfortableness of earning one.
Many people want to have their own business, but they don’t want to have to go through the uncertainty having your own business brings with it.
The only way anyone can ever earn a black belt, start a business or attain anything worthwhile in life is going to take getting comfortable with uncomfortableness.
Look, an inability to deal with feeling uncomfortable is a leading cause of regret. Make a commitment to get used to being uncomfortable!
Use These Tips to Get Over Regret Now!
Fear is the leading cause of living a regretful life.
But you don’t have to live in fear!
You can use these tips to tame your fears, drop your regrets and make some life changing decisions.
Stop letting regret hold you back. Be bold. Use these tips to help you live a life filled you with smiles and opportunity. A life that leads to satisfaction instead of regret.
Get started today!